From ***** to Texas in less than two weeks. . .

Well, we made our move. The week before we left, Judah had a high fever for several days and the night before we left I had chills and fever. We just felt like we might as well get on with it anyway. We packed up everything and moved in to our little “bush house.” It is really nice for what it is. Everyone there was so excited about us being there. Our house was flooded with activity and because there was no electricity and our generator wasn’t working yet, we had to open all the windows and doors for light. Therefore, little and big faces were constantly peering in at us as we were getting settled.

I continued to get sicker with a horrible head cold and lost my voice. I couldn’t talk, taste or breathe. The kids were having a blast with all the local children and that was a huge blessing. Everyone was so helpful and kind, in a smothering sort of way. Auntie is absolutely amazing and her calming presence is outstanding. She was so helpful. Soon after our arrival, Elisha got Judah’s fever. I wasn’t sleeping well with my horrible cold and the third night we were there Lydia had a fever and screamed on and off all night. Then the fourth night Elisha’s fever got up to 105! We are about two hours from Jos and we didn’t have enough gas in our van to make it in anyway. Aaron went to Auntie’s house and she came over and we gave Elisha a sponge bath (while he screamed and hated life!) for at least two hours. He also had Tylenol and Ibuprophen in his system and it still took that long just to get his fever down to 101.

The next day I began feeling depressed and having panic attacks. I was doing everything I learned over the years to take my thoughts captive and overcome but the physical attacks of panic were not letting up. The next two nights I didn’t sleep at all from that. So we were absolutely exhausted and beaten up. We retreated to Jos and the SIM community has been beyond amazing. This is by far the most supportive and loving group we could have been received by. From the beginning of our time in Africa, Aaron has had much time to really seek the Lord about our lives and direction and everything he has been thinking and feeling has been a greater passion for the states and his ministry as a coach. I have always yearned to come to Africa and our time here has been an amazing adventure. We have touched God’s family and his beloved across the world. You have touched this world through us.
Auntie has said from the start that her desire for our time here is that we could take her ministry back home and rally prayer support for the enormous unreached people group she is reaching out to. She has wonderful relationships with these people. They even listen to the gospel message from her. However, the veil is thick and they don’t really hear. Everyone who comes to work with this group gets beaten up badly and the spiritual battle is raging. Auntie needs prayer, serious prayer support to break in to these people’s hearts. In our exploring, we have seen much work being done to reach these people but the need for intercession to open their eyes is great. From our arrival, I have loved the people here and so has Aaron, but we haven’t felt called to this people group and actually feel like God has been revealing how gifted and passionate Aaron is for sports and all the ministries involved in that. Our pride has told us that to really be sold out for Jesus we needed to give up our comforts of home and suffer for the Lord. Aaron has been realizing for several weeks now that we were not on track with that.

I am, even as I write, having panic attacks and really struggling. I feel like a complete failure and that I have let all of you down. Like Aaron has said, I have been well for 10 years and we never ever thought this emotional instability was a possibility but we were wrong. We have been on a quest for humility for several years and this is another way God is really humbling us. We are fighting guilt for asking for your support to come to Africa and then not accomplishing what we told you we were coming to do. However, we don’t at all feel like this trip has been a failure. We have learned so much and we are very excited about being able to dump a huge chunk of the remainder of our funds into Aunties ministry where it can be used to further the amazing work she is doing among the ******. We feel like we are able to come back home having touched world missions for you and make the global kingdom a little bit more tangible to our neck of the woods. We can’t thank you enough for making this experience possible for us and for our children. We do feel guilt and fear at facing you all when we come home and feeling like we have let you down. The main thing I have learned, aside from the confirmation that I love Africa and the precious people, is that I have to trust my husband to lead me. I get ideas and run so hard and fast and his wisdom is always greater. At this point I am really fighting to stay stable and not lose it.

Aaron feels like it is time to come home and get healthy. Again, we hope and pray you will not see our time here as a failure and SIM does not see it as such. Please continue to pray for us as we do everything necessary to transition home. Saying goodbye has been gut wrenching and we are overwhelmed by the love of our Nigerian friends and their grief in our leaving. Thank you all again and again for all your love and support. God bless you. Love, Shelly

* By the time most of you read this we will be traveling in the air or possibly be home. Please pray for our safety traveling to the airport and our flight with Shelly and four little ones. Thank you so much for praying and for your involvement with our ministry. We love you. --Aaron